Jogging with Roussel 9

It was 9:25 am on the morning of September 11, 2001 that a secret meeting was taking place between CIA Black Ops ‘Time Czar’ Ray Echenoz-Bolger, and the US Army’s head of the top-secret ‘Temporality Division’, General Bernadette Syrenee, lovingly called “Fitzy.” Held in a non-descript outer office of the pentagon, on the wall is a painting of Ginger Rogers in full nudity but in the guise of Hermes, or Mercury, wearing winged silver sandals, and a chrome helmet with wings. She is carrying a caduceus staff, but it is lumpy and misshapen, and is in fact, a mutant caduceus vegetable whose crown appears to bear the tiny head of Red Foxx with a pink anemone’ mohawk which is smoking a cigarette. Instead of a navel, she has a pale green rectum, and out of it are flying, in a halo belt, a ring of Oz’ finest winged green monkeys wearing Roman leather armor and golden helmets, some of them chewing on short stubby cigars, and carrying machine guns. Agent Echenoz-Bolger looks up from his computer’s monitor and says to Fitzy, “Canterel and Welles are cross-breeding their Chlorlocks, and we have six of our agents in the mix as well, giving us something like a 12 percent chance of correcting the Oz colony at 1M/GsubX if their hybrid gene-lines are not detected by the Anubian symbionts.” Fitzy adjusted her brassiere subtly, then, “Do we have trans-temporal support from deep F.R.E.D.?” “Yes, we’re capping Canterel’s Locus Solus resurrectine mine in 18 temporal zones, beginning in 2013, I believe, but there are trans-temporal holes in our technology, so it’s a crapshoot at best..” “Is deep F.R.E.D. with the Ginger Herm in O/x space?” “Now and forever, we hope, and the Chlorlock-Haqq-Sanfordian Rangers are accessing the gene lines needed to fulfill the damaged time lines of their Queen vehicle, Blonde Amateratsu..” “Does it gives us back the Mayan Eloi lines?” “No, but it does effectively block Spanish incursion into the new world in 6 of the trans-temporal variants.” “We are making great headway into a total Spanish-Vril route of the main synthetic trans-temporal space, allowing for Mayan-Chlorlock space colonization.” “Is that Eloi enhanced?” “Can’t do it any other way, Fitzy, frequency blonde rids us of blood sacrifice for 10 thousand years!” “Thank deep F.R.E.D.” “And the mesomidichlorians.” “To the great SOAP..” “To the ultimate pulp..” [9:37:46: Flight 77 crashes into the western side of the Pentagon at 530 mph (853 km/h, 237 m/s, or 460 knots) and starts a violent fire. The section of the Pentagon hit consists mainly of newly renovated, unoccupied offices. All 64 people on board are killed, as are 125 Pentagon personnel.]