SICK-SANKA-KLAUS

Sanka Clause Kinski is boning
a young coffee-colored Hessian reindeer hussy
named Rudolphina Hesse whose bright red
adolescent's alcohol clown nose is
the wallpaper for my Iphone,
the loneliest Iphone in the world.

Nobody calls the Iphone.
I don't have any ringtones.
Since becoming so "Christmas gay and poor"
I have to drink Sanka.

I order a Sanka ringtone, a hot cellphone bj
from 1-900-BONING-RICKETS-ELFS-IN-CHAFING-BURLAP
or 1-900-SICK-SANKA-KLAUS-KINSKI-CLONE-ELFS-YABYUB
I hear nothing but a long explanation about
the origins of dynamic biological patinas on platonic solids.

I meet a sick plastic surgeon
in a Kinski.net chat space called "Abombinable Snowflake"
who offers to install a coffee filtering system into my urinary tract
so i can save money by making PP SANKA
in my Fred Flintstone Vitamin coffee cup head.

My cellphone wallet
gets lifted at the trainstation
but all the thief finds
is polaroids of Sanka Klaus Kinski
rubbing his old Ricket Elf Labia
over adolescent alcoholic clown noses.

I find a piece of cheery holiday elf burlap
in my sanka cannister, holding a tiny aborted
reindeer prostitute's cellphone snowflake
wrapped in a pleated anarchist greek man-skirt
once used for a coffee filter from a time before
the great Sanka depression of 2009.