Sunday, April 7, 2013

Mighty Coagularis

Like wrinkled elephantine nipples, the shabby shabtis were just beginning to peek out from Caligula's armpits seeking the unguent of their jewess attendants. Special oil must be rubbed on the slovenly prehensile helomic fetish growth statuary, and they must be wrapped in raw pelican throat sac skin, soaked for twelve days in twelve successive oils:


Only when Caligula's Aba, or helomic armpit shabtis have been treated by the jewesses, or mussen, in this manner, are they allowed to come out of their stylized embroidered toga ports to issue commands at the same level as the divine Caligula. One helomic shabti Aba demands that dancers appear wearing masks of grilled pheasant thighs cooled in many-coloured yoghurts. The other shabti, being more discrete, wishes to be painted with bambara dust and tenderly stroked by the delicate brush of a Kushite slave girl wearing only gold leaf and the ardent perfume of fresh puppy kisses.

In one of Caligula's eye sockets lives a bird, a Monticola gularis. This bird is called the Fi'igilach, as well as Toma. Its song is distinctive, and resonates in such a way that the glass bell collar which supports the divine Caligula's massive deformed head begins to sing, but in reality, its song is frail when compared closely to the Minister of Singing, whose giant vertically fanning bird wing collars shoot straight up on either side of his painted green bald shaved head obscuring it completely. The Minister of Song's face can only be seen in a purely frontal fashion. His name is Təqsirləndirilən, which means "Only As Song".

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