Saturday, December 20, 2008



Hysteria is Weird

So I was walking out of the New York Public Library this evening
after a couple of hours of non-internet enabled writing (it saves me),
when I noticed this long line of teenage and tween girls sitting on the sidewalk.

Their line snaked all the way around the library, around Bryant Park, and
to the subway station. Finally I leaned over and asked one what was going on.

She replied: We're here waiting for the HO-MASSED Brothers. They're
performing tomorrow on Good Morning America.

Me: The Home-Assed Brothers?
She: The Homme Amassed Brew-Thers!
Me: Tomorrow? The Ohm-assed browsers?

[Just then a little light blinked on her nosering, and I saw her nose visibly vibrate]

She: I have to take this..

[I noticed they were all "pregnant" teens and tweens.]

Me to a different girl: Are you Hose amassed here for the Freakonomics conference?
She: [giggling] They're blow up dolls! [she pulls out a big she-male blow-up doll with a huge dick]
She: [smiling blandly] Yes, I have thing inside me that thinks alot.

[Suddenly the whole thing turns into a musical.]
[All the "pregnant" teens and tweens start to sing a strange song]:

The "Pregnant" Line:

When the Ray to the Rick is bright enough and thick.
When the photon's massless mass is fine!
Then will our river revlon rheos come unshtick
and our molecules beocumulyne!

a fat-ass trance of whine! a trance-in-vestments "should" its name!

However the fucking fuel does burn today
it surely is a fire, and burning
sends it on its way!

Hysteria is Weird
Whether Black or Dong or Queer
Whether Childish gruesome or mean

Hysteria is Weird
And Chthulu has a beard
made of shaggy lipstick skeletons in fear..

[It was just at this point that I heard a racket from Bryant park]
[A drug addict had shot a policeman in the face with a can of sillystring.]
[But instead of getting angry, the policeman burst into song that sounded like a police siren.]

The Policeman: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

[I thought perhaps a movie was going on so I naturally was drawn across the way.]

A little boy in a rubber Charles Manson Halloween mask came bounding up to me
with some handbills and handed one, me:

Now is the Vinter of our Discount Event,
Made glorious Sumer by this Song of Porky:
And all the louts that lowr'd vpon our hose
In the deepe bosome-enhancements of the Dozens buried.
Now are our browsers bound with Victorian Wreathlets,
Our bruised armes hung vp for Junky Monuments;
Our sterno Alarums chang'd to merry Meetings with Inscrutable men;
Our dreadfull Marches, to delight a Measureless vastness appealing or what?
Grim-visag'd Warren, what hath smooth'd his wrinkled Frontpage:
And now, in stead of mounting Barbi Steeds,
To fright the Soules of fearfull Americanos,
He capers nimbly in a Ladies Chamber Orchestra,
To the lasciuious pleasing of a loutish Lute.
But I, that am not shap'd for sportiue trickes,
Nor made to court an amorous-looking paste:
I, that am Rudely stompt, and wantly loves Magesty,
To strut before a won-ton ampling Nymphbot:
I, that am curtail'd of this faire Production's energeum,
Cheated of fine feature by a dissembling Knoture of noggins,
Deform'd, vn-finish'd, sent before my time to Crapp's ward to bruggin'
Into this breathing wilthy World, scarse halfe made vp, a dingy dinghy
And that so lamely and vnfashionable, no transformer purse or pussy-horse
That dogges barke at me, as I halt by them in weird splendor

[Just then a huge feathered dog took me up in his maw.]
[And just before he gulped me down, I saw to my sweet surprise~

Many cherished Winter Robins in a leafless Crabapple tree
making haste to feed on those chilly golden and miniature repasts..]

I said to myself then.. All is Rhetoric, emblem, because the word does not lie
and is indeed God, to wit:


is what

The Ray did to the Rick.

[to feed those poor Robins on this Winter day.]



  1. m(jawdropt)e

    many time difficult to harness critical explication in forming
    relative feedback plus especially when whole big writing of jellybeans explode thru astral navigations with expansive graphemes writ mythic most pleasingly reader to bang brain upon yummy snake-fang of infinite eden apples.

    so i just say,

  2. coming from you troy, that is a compliment! your blog is stunning
    btw!! uber gorgi!


Irrony Observes The Earthing.